Widow recalls what she’s learned about grief

NEW YORK (Gray DC) - Three hundred and forty-three New York City firefighters died on September 11, 2001. Danny Suhr was one of the first.

His widow, Nancy, has spent 25 years learning to live with loss and is now sharing what she’s learned.

“He’s part of my life every single day. Everyday. 25 years later and it will be till I am no longer on this earth. That’s just the way it is,” Nancy Suhr said.

Nancy Suhr could never forget how 9/11 unfolded.

“I get a call from the firehouse and it’s Brian and he’s like Danny’s been hurt and I’m coming to get you and I’m like how bad and he’s like we don’t know. I just remember kissing his face and telling him that I would always love him and that I will make sure Briana knows him and knows what a wonderful dad she had and what a wonderful man he was,” Suhr said.

What she’s learned about grief

Firefighters say a person falling from the towers landed on Danny. His daughter, Briana, was just 2. Twenty-five years later, Nancy wants others to know what she’s learned about grief.

“The biggest thing is love never dies, you’re going to love the person you lose forever and they are going to be part of your heart and part of your soul for your whole life,” Suhr said.

Asked whether the grief gets lighter or softer 25 years later, Suhr said it does.

“I can give people that hope that it does but it’s not going to ever go away,” Suhr said.

A message for younger generations

She has a message for anyone too young to remember 9/11.

“Just because you didn’t experience it, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have respect for it, respect for the lives of the people that were lost, respect for the lives of the people who worked down there to give people closure and help the city heal and have been lost since then because they got sick from being down there so much, have respect that’s really all it comes down to,” Suhr said.

Making sure Danny is not forgotten

Suhr said she will make sure future generations of her family never forget.

“I want them to have things from him. He existed, can’t wipe him off the face of the Earth he existed and that’s important to me,” Suhr said.

Suhr said she is saving the many quilts strangers made for her and Briana after 9/11 so that when Briana has children, they’ll have something to signify that day.