Sleepover safety debate leads family to set clear ground rules

(Aging Untold) — The sleepover is a rite of passage for many kids. For parents and guardians, the decision about whether to let a child attend one has become a debate centered on safety.

At the McElrath home, Fridays are for family. As their kids get older, weekend invitations are changing, especially when the invite includes a sleepover.

“With the exception of a time or two that I can count on one hand we’re in the no sleepover camp,” Emily McElrath, a mother of two, said.

Family weighs safety concerns

For the McElrath family, the decision centers on safety, house rules, phones, social media and making sure their kids feel safe.

Gerontologist and Aging Untold expert Sam Cradduck said grandparents and other caregivers should be part of that conversation so everyone is on the same page before anyone says yes.

“Sleepovers are not automatically good or bad, but, you have to vet it. You have to ask the questions,” Cradduck said.

Cradduck said that can mean asking who will be home, how kids will be supervised, whether devices are allowed and what the plan is if a child feels uncomfortable.

The “late-over” compromise

The McElraths have found a compromise they call the “late-over.”

“She can stay over and come to the party and hang out with the girls, but we have somewhere to be early the next morning, so I need to come pick her up,” McElrath said.

Cradduck said options like that can help families give kids more independence while still respecting safety concerns.

“Social interaction is a huge part of life, even for our little ones and should be, but we have to make sure that we’re safe socializing our kids,” Cradduck said.

“Our job is not to be your friend. It’s to be your parent and keep you safe,” McElrath said.